2008 aint gonna wait..

Last nite I had my last dinner of 2007 at the famous National Dhaba in Bandra. This place is non-descript and 3 feet below road level yet is iconic in the history of Bollywood. Ugh.. I hate that word! Back to the history of the cafe.. This place has been alive since.. well a long time and has been home to some of the famous stars of yesteryear like Rajesh Khanna, Vinod Khanna, Jackie Shroff, etc. Why am I dropping names? To iterate that I had the best sarson ki saag and makki di roti on New Year's Eve in such hallowed premises. Not really.. like i give a shit about some famous rich actors :P However the food is excellent and noteworthy since I ate there every single night for my first two years in tinseltown. No indigestion or tummy-upsets. All food cooked over burning hot coals. No fancy gas stoves and electric chimneys. This place provides me of memories of a life so rudimentary, rustic and raw. Its not just the cuisine and style of cooking that elicit such reverie. The old sardar sitting at the counter is as antiquated as his institution. He swears by his healthy cuisine and will not serve aerated drinks or chaas (spiced buttermilk) at night for health reasons. His toothy smile, bespectacled face and tiny turban (actually he has a small head) is painted on the landscapes of my memory for meals to come.

This was the highlight of my night. I felt gratified. It never ceases to surprise me how much food governs the mood. Having studied the various nutrients required my the body and the effects they have on the brain; it still is incredible when i actually experience it within. If I had to choose my favourite body organ, I would gladly forego that which makes me what I am (hint: I'm male!) and nominate instead my stomach for the esteemed position.

Gliding in the glorious afterglow I found myself at a Barrista meeting another Sardar, his wife and cranky pampered brat. I decided to indulge in something chilled like maybe an Iced Tea (peach). Big mistake! It was sweet and way too much considering I had just had 5 makki di rotis! So much for that peaceful easy feeling the Eagles described so perfectly. I now was bloated and felt like the anchor of a ship being dropped down.

Let this be your New Year resolution I told myself: Eat Light, Smile Bright!

With resolute determination and a heavy load I embarked on a journey back home to enjoy the other great pleasure that life offers to the innocent; a good night's sleep! The rickshaw driver however had other plans. He asked me a question which set off a flurry of ruffled opinions. "Do you feel like its New Year's Eve?" he asked. I let off a tirade of fiery statements about the commercialization of just another calendar date, about the basic rise and fall of the star we know as the sun that signifies a day in our lifes and how it's pristine sanctity is being defiled and desecrated by celebrating one day over the other. Luckily I had a sympathetic listener who almost succeeded in ripping me off 20 bucks with his earnest endeavour to listen to me. Unluckily for him, he met an old scoundrel who depsite his mere 3 decades on the planet feels more like Rip Van Winkle yet is as mentally agile as a petty pick-pocket.

If I were to paint a self-potrait, It would be of a young man sitting in a old man's bar waiting for his turn to die..

Always Keep Death In Mind

"Dying teaches you more about life than living." ~ Ritesh Reddy

The Way of the Samurai is found in death. Meditation on inevitable death should be performed daily. Every day when one's body and mind are at peace, we should meditate about being ripped apart by arrows, rifles, spears and swords; being carried away by surging waves, being thrown into the midst of a great fire, being struck by lightning, being shaken to death by a great earthquake, falling from thousand foot cliffs, dying from disease, commiting seppuku at the death of one's master. And every day without fail one should consider himself as dead. This is the substance of the Way of the Samurai.

Crawling back from the Abyss.. Life's a bitch and I love Her madly!

After spending years in the abyss, one would be inclined to think oneself invulnerable to minor lapses in the fabric of physical 'reality'. Jackie Mason said "It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness you like. "

In the three days that I lay flat on my bed groaning and moaning of a hallucinatory flu, I experienced the plumbing depths of my private hell. In all its gut-wrenching, intestine-squeezing, life-sucking, energy-draining glory the flu did for me what I needed to start the up-coming new-year. A purgatory! I have been stripped clean and something yanked the plug off my drainage system and gave me a natural enema without me having to stick a pump up my arsehole. Strangely I have never felt so alive in a long long long time. I've spent the best part of the day puking what looks like water out and shitting what again seems like the same fluid. Hey I'm singing from both ends! Its always harder to convince your gag reflex to stop when there's nothing left to puke. So while I hover over the ever accepting pot stopping only to change ends, an epiiphany crawls up warily.

As I walk out to get some air, I'm feeling more aware in an unaware kind of way. I feel like a being not of flesh and blood. I can still remember the last time I felt this way. That was however in a different life. In this re-incarnation however this has been a first. Delirious? A product of my hallucinations would be far more dramatically profound considering my flair for fantasia. This was a simple punch to the gut that knoocked the bloody shit out of my sails. Life always does to me what my biggest and fiercest opponents haven't done till date. Knock me out!

Paranoia?

You ever get that feeling like your not alone? You hear voices but there is noone there. When you lie down to sleep you feel like something is touching you but nothing is there. Most of the time it is because something is watching you, something is touching you and something is screwing with your head. You may not see them but they are always there, they hide in shadows and wait for their chance. They are small but there are many of them, groups of them feeding on fear. They do not have a name because noone has ever discovered them and survived to name them. In fact, there are probably a few of them watching you right now, watching for their chance to move in...

Rambling Irreverently

From the dark, a deeper dark,
eyes ashine with fire n spark
The alley cat stealthily slides,
past the ladies with fat backsides.
Furtive and aware,
the wind ruffling his hair.
Suspicious, hesitant, paranoid
he steps out from the void..
Stepping morosely from the night
repelled, by neon and starlight.
Gingerly with weight that never was
his pawprints mark the empty canvas.

Status Quo

What's cooking? How's it hanging? Sup? How's life treating you? Where have you been? Hows you? What are you upto? How are you feeling?

Every where I go I'm greeted by these inane questionnaires as to the nature of the beast known as r!tz. This past month I've spent working as a photographer, apprentice, artist, peon, secretary and marketing manager whilst keeping my head afloat and abreast of the waves. Work is mundane I've realised if it is considered in its mundane form i.e. work. However exciting and challenging and entertaining it maybe, if considered as work.. it fails to liberate one from his mundane existence.

My constant soul searching has also brought me to the realization that I simply wish to be comfortable; rich, contented and freedom to be. I am looking now for the most simple, effective and direct way to be where I want to be. I don't believe that hard work is the only way; though that seem to be my way currently. I'm however sure that my future has great things in store for me and that fame, fortune and fabulous women are just a hair's breadth away.

Being as I am a magnanimous and benevolent soul I am hereby offering you all.. YES! all of you a chance to benefit from this miracle about to happen. If you want to share in the fame and fortune and the spectacular orgies that are bound to take place hurry! Contact the author immediately! Payment accepted in the form of cash and kind.

All investments are subject to market risks and the schemes may go up or down depending upon the factors and forces affecting the securities market including the fluctuations in the interest rates. There can be no assurance that his schemes' investment objectives will be achieved. The past performance is not necessarily indicative of future performance of the schemes. The above do not in any manner indicate the quality of the schemes, their future prospects or returns. r!tz is not guaranteeing or assuring any dividend under any of the schemes. He is also not assuring that he will make any dividend distributions under the dividend plans of the schemes though he has every intention of doing so. All dividend distributions are subject to the investment performance of his schemes and are subject to availability of distribution surplus. The investments made by his schemes are subject to external risks. Please go through the offer documents before investing.

Scarycature

Captured by Priyankar Gupta