Looking For Something?

"I've looked under chairs
I've looked under tables
I've tired to find the key
To 50 million people
They called me The Seeker
I've been searchin'
Low and high.

I've asked Bobby Dylan
I've asked The Beatles
I've asked The Osho
But he couldn't help me even
They call me The Seeker
I've been searchin'
Low and high."

The Seeker, Pete Townsend (The Who)

Pete Townsend's poignant poetry reflects the restless questioning spirit of our times. I've spent all my waking life searching.. I'm not really sure what it is. I kinda believed I was Superman (TM) at one time and i was searching for my spaceship (which was lying somewhere in the ground) so i could get my super powers and my suit back and show these ridiculous homosapiens (my family and friends) that I was the cat's whiskers. The fact that I'm still writing this article instead of exploring the infinite multiiverse should tell you that my search was never fulfilled. I did however find more fuel to power my search. The kind that made me feel like a god. Strange that I would say this as im an atheist. I could now chemically control how I felt and could travel the dark and hitherto hidden dimensions of my mind. That search ended in more despair and pain than I had ever imagined possible. My wanderlust then whispered to me; Indulge me and i shall satisfy thine search. I travelled the subcontinent with a pack on my back till I was just a sack of bones. I then endeavored to pursue the more mundane treasures of social security; profession and property. To the latter I would attach a house, car and a wife seeing as to how they are percieved as things to be possessed. Thankfully that search bears nothing I treasure. Yet my search seemed unfulfilled. I turned my sights on the masses. Social service and supporting a cause held alight a promise of fulfillment. Yet what I was really seeking was an end
to my own search for satisfaction. Such a motive was contrary to my venture. The time has now come as i've decided (whew!) to drop my search and just live!? For eg. After seeking pleasure in the its various forms and patterns I've just discovered that taking an early morning dump is second to none ;)

A probing thought.. or is it a question?

"We are always seeking some form of mystery because we are so dissatisfied with the life we lead, with the shallowness of our activities, which have very little meaning and to which we try to give significance, a meaning; but this is an intellectual act which therefore remains superficial, tricky and in the end meaningless. And yet knowing all this - knowing our pleasure are very soon over, our everyday activities are routine; knowing also that our problems, so many of them, can perhaps never be solved; not believing in anything, not having faith in traditional values, in teachers, in the gurus, in the sanctions of the Church or society - knowing all this, most of us are always probing or
seeking, trying to find out something really worthwhile, something that is not touched by thought, something that really has an extraordinary sense of beauty and ecstacy. Most of us, I think, are trying to seek out something that is enduring, that is not easily made corrupt. We put aside the obvious and there is deep longing - not emotional or sentimental - a deep inquiry which might open the door to something that is not measured by thought, something that cannot be put into any category of faith or belief. But is there any meaning to searching, to seeking?"

Excerpt from 'The Flight Of The Eagle' by J. Krishnamurti