2nd Anniversary of Asifa India CGMeetup

The long snaky queue outside K.C. College was evidence of Asifa's regular CG Meetups. The fact that it was the 2nd Anniversary was the icing on the cake. The counter at the entrance handed out feedback forms, raffle tickets and IAD 2006 flyers? Recycling surplus might be a more eco-friendly solution though. The slideshow on the projector displayed pictures of past IAD melas evoking nostalgia and keeping the crowd entertained. The crowds pored in and Blob Dylan decided to give an impromptu rendition. His performance was cut short however by a case of laryngitis.

The show must go on however and was kickstarted by a presentation on Asifa (The Association International du Film d' Animation) which has been around for half a century. The indian chapter having been active for almost a decade aspires to the same ideals and goals as the international organization. A short brief on the history of the annual International Animation Day mela and the CG-Meetup followed.

NewsFlash! Pixion and Tata Elxsi's Visual Computing Labs drop out of schedule at the last minute throwing the spotlight on Prime Focus. Merzin took the stage and spoke proudly of his company expanding from a single location to six locations in Mumbai, one each in Hyderabad and Chennai apart from their international locations in London and LA. He then proceeded to showcase Prime Focus' showreel followed by an exacting showcase of Sanjay Leela Bhansali's 'Saawariyan'. From concept sketches to matte painting (painting textures from real-life onto 3D/CG models) Merzin took the viewers through the entire process. The process of matte painting was touted as invaluable in combining CG sets with live sets thereby adding depth and providing a realistic yet magical look n feel. The on-set green-screen shots enabled the VFX artists to match CG environments with the real sets. As one student enquired astutely as to why real sets were used at all since it was actually more challenging to match virtual sets. Merzin was quick to note that this was the very question posed to him by Sanjay Leela Bhansali towards the end of the production.

International Projects such as 'Tales on the River Bank' and '28 Weeks' were up next on the screen along with a sneak preview of 'Agent Crush'. Prime Focus created CG miltary vehicles and simulated explosion sequences for the feature '28 weeks'. Matte painting was used to make London virtually empty in many of the scenes in the movie as the story required the city to be evacuated. Next up was the very innovative 'Tales of the River Bank' a remake of an old television series. This feature combined real puppetry with virtual sets created in CG. Scenes included sky replacements, CG smoke and particles as well as realflow liquid simulation. CG environments provided the backdrop for puppets and miniature models in the film. One highly impressed student requested an encore and the showreel projected yet another time the miracles VFX can produce.

Rhythm & Hues came on with the case study of the recently released 'The Golden Compass'. First up was a short presentation on the features R&H worked on in 2007. These included Evan Almighty, The Kingdom, the just released Alvin & The Chipmunks and of course the case in study 'The Golden Compass'. The unique creatures known as daemons were all designed and created by R&H from look development to lighting and texturing. These daemons are the soul apparent of every human character in the film and share the same eye structure/colour and some of them are capable of morphing into other avatars.

Prasad discussed the production partnership that exists between the R&H studios in LA and Mumbai. 'The Golden Compass' required 500 artists working in tandem between Los Angeles and Mumbai. Visual FX supervisors Raymond Chen and Bill Westenhofer guided the project from concept to completion. Prasad further outlined the early R&D process to the advanced pipeline stages. Over 150 employees of R&H India were actively involved in this project. Everything from pipeline programming to rendering tech is done in-house by R&H. The R&H India team went on to emphasise their 100% integration with the Los Angeles studio. The innovative Education Department at Rhythm and Hues which consists of supervisors, leads and mentors has succesfully trained freshers coming out their apprentice program to directly work on these world-class VFX projects. In fact 50% of the R&H India team that worked on 'The Golden Compass' were freshers.

Henry David Thoreau echoed this sentiment of extraordinary accomplishment in his immortal words:
"If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavours to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with success unexpected in common hours."

Dread Locked!

Its a warm fuzzy afternoon. I'm chatting with a dear friend and prepearing lunch at the same time. Yes I realize multi-tasking is best left to womne. No time for debates now. I gotta get me some garlic from the lady with the cart down the alley. Prepare for takeoff! Boxers on? Check! T-shirt? Check! Cellphone? Check! Blast Off! In a flash of a second our hero is outta the door like a stone from a sling. Slam! he's outta the door and in orbit when uh..oh.. "Houston we have a problem. Im not carrying my re-entry pack!!!"

I'm locked out and my keys are inside the house. Brilliant eh? Well our hero doesn't panic. he calmly walks around the house, peers through the window and hey! there they are. Right where I left them: on the refridgerator. A mere 16 feet away. This is a mission for ground crew.

As I walk towards the security hut, one of them runs away to have lunch. Another bumbling idiot followed me half-heartedly as we found two narrow 2x4's and went about tying them up to create one long elongated arm. Version One turned out to be flawed partly due to gravity of course. Bumbling idiot walks away mumbling something about a siesta. Along comes the third of the ground crew; a glimmer of hope or a radioactive spark?

This one is a wisened young turk who accosts me to the corner of the universe where lies the verstaile bamboo stick. I pick one up and another and some rope to tie together. We return to our home planet, hover in orbit on the dark side and contemplate our course of action. The stick are knotted together and are aimed at the re-entry panel on the inside of the door. Now run! I yell at ground crew to spin over to the other side of the door and haul the handle below 'C' level while I jab at the panel through the window using Version Two of the elongated arm. And Voila!!! we are back in orbit!

Whew! Another day in the life of Spaced-Out Man!

The Great Divide

In no other industry is the divide more apparent or obvious yet so closely linked and interdependant. What am I talking about? Why quite simply the gap between the technical and the creative; the technologist and the artist.

I recently attended a forum on animation and interactive technology. The discussions ranged from topics like pipeline & production design to network and storage implementations. The sessions threw light on high-performance computing, rendering, file systems, low-cost hybrid solutions. A glimpse of future trends was showcased in the form of an industry and technology road map. Examples of how technology was being innovatively used in the country were highlighted.

The subtle undercurrents spoke of how creative artists are stubborn and inflexible when it comes to following pipeline processes and conventions citing their need to be abstract and imaginative. The general attitude that the creative artist; a glorified icon of the animation industry is largely responsible for the growth of the industry isn’t helping any. Ask any bright eyed student of the opportunities he sees in the animation industry today and chances are you will not hear any technical job profiles. The artist maintains that the idea is paramount and his creative vision needs the freedom to be abstract and obscure.

I maintain that creativity in education should be treated with the same status as literacy. However I would define creativity as having original ideas that add value. So when technologists are grappling with a pipeline bottleneck or inefficient networks to innovatively improve production they are in fact being creative. Writing scripts that simplify and streamline creative processes is a technical process yet is entirely guided by an artistic vision. Creativity is problem solving at the core. Innovation, design, communications, invention, all disciplines depend on both the technologist and artist mindsets working in concert to solve the problem. Technologists and artists need each other. Projects grow exactly because of the combination of the two. They work in different ways and with different methods but ultimately they complement each other. Ideas need implementation to accomplish anything real.

We need to remind ourselves of this because so much of our schooling, training, research and career movement is one-sided, naturally and unnaturally following a specializing/narrowing path. Lifting our heads to look around from time to time can be very refreshing and valuable. Innovation comes from bridging languages, disciplines and cultures.

Many people are technologists and artists at the same time. It's not always an either-or thing. I question the need to divide people into these binary categories. Sure some people tend to be one or the other, but others try to carve out a niche in which they can be both at the same time. Part of the creative process is to think both ways simultaneously - to alternate frequently, minute to minute. Making this separation implies that professionals should choose one or the other as a career path. Perhaps we should simply be conscious of the fact that most of our colleagues tend one way or the other, but we should try to develop both strengths together and avoid going only one way or the other.

Let us pay homage to the man of "both" worlds. Leonardo da Vinci. He found a plane of thought that encompassed both the world of art along with the world of the sciences. Leonardo was a painter, sculptor, architect, musician, engineer, inventor, and scientist. He is most likely the epitome of the Renaissance man who dared to bridge the great divide.

2008 aint gonna wait..

Last nite I had my last dinner of 2007 at the famous National Dhaba in Bandra. This place is non-descript and 3 feet below road level yet is iconic in the history of Bollywood. Ugh.. I hate that word! Back to the history of the cafe.. This place has been alive since.. well a long time and has been home to some of the famous stars of yesteryear like Rajesh Khanna, Vinod Khanna, Jackie Shroff, etc. Why am I dropping names? To iterate that I had the best sarson ki saag and makki di roti on New Year's Eve in such hallowed premises. Not really.. like i give a shit about some famous rich actors :P However the food is excellent and noteworthy since I ate there every single night for my first two years in tinseltown. No indigestion or tummy-upsets. All food cooked over burning hot coals. No fancy gas stoves and electric chimneys. This place provides me of memories of a life so rudimentary, rustic and raw. Its not just the cuisine and style of cooking that elicit such reverie. The old sardar sitting at the counter is as antiquated as his institution. He swears by his healthy cuisine and will not serve aerated drinks or chaas (spiced buttermilk) at night for health reasons. His toothy smile, bespectacled face and tiny turban (actually he has a small head) is painted on the landscapes of my memory for meals to come.

This was the highlight of my night. I felt gratified. It never ceases to surprise me how much food governs the mood. Having studied the various nutrients required my the body and the effects they have on the brain; it still is incredible when i actually experience it within. If I had to choose my favourite body organ, I would gladly forego that which makes me what I am (hint: I'm male!) and nominate instead my stomach for the esteemed position.

Gliding in the glorious afterglow I found myself at a Barrista meeting another Sardar, his wife and cranky pampered brat. I decided to indulge in something chilled like maybe an Iced Tea (peach). Big mistake! It was sweet and way too much considering I had just had 5 makki di rotis! So much for that peaceful easy feeling the Eagles described so perfectly. I now was bloated and felt like the anchor of a ship being dropped down.

Let this be your New Year resolution I told myself: Eat Light, Smile Bright!

With resolute determination and a heavy load I embarked on a journey back home to enjoy the other great pleasure that life offers to the innocent; a good night's sleep! The rickshaw driver however had other plans. He asked me a question which set off a flurry of ruffled opinions. "Do you feel like its New Year's Eve?" he asked. I let off a tirade of fiery statements about the commercialization of just another calendar date, about the basic rise and fall of the star we know as the sun that signifies a day in our lifes and how it's pristine sanctity is being defiled and desecrated by celebrating one day over the other. Luckily I had a sympathetic listener who almost succeeded in ripping me off 20 bucks with his earnest endeavour to listen to me. Unluckily for him, he met an old scoundrel who depsite his mere 3 decades on the planet feels more like Rip Van Winkle yet is as mentally agile as a petty pick-pocket.

If I were to paint a self-potrait, It would be of a young man sitting in a old man's bar waiting for his turn to die..

Always Keep Death In Mind

"Dying teaches you more about life than living." ~ Ritesh Reddy

The Way of the Samurai is found in death. Meditation on inevitable death should be performed daily. Every day when one's body and mind are at peace, we should meditate about being ripped apart by arrows, rifles, spears and swords; being carried away by surging waves, being thrown into the midst of a great fire, being struck by lightning, being shaken to death by a great earthquake, falling from thousand foot cliffs, dying from disease, commiting seppuku at the death of one's master. And every day without fail one should consider himself as dead. This is the substance of the Way of the Samurai.

Crawling back from the Abyss.. Life's a bitch and I love Her madly!

After spending years in the abyss, one would be inclined to think oneself invulnerable to minor lapses in the fabric of physical 'reality'. Jackie Mason said "It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness you like. "

In the three days that I lay flat on my bed groaning and moaning of a hallucinatory flu, I experienced the plumbing depths of my private hell. In all its gut-wrenching, intestine-squeezing, life-sucking, energy-draining glory the flu did for me what I needed to start the up-coming new-year. A purgatory! I have been stripped clean and something yanked the plug off my drainage system and gave me a natural enema without me having to stick a pump up my arsehole. Strangely I have never felt so alive in a long long long time. I've spent the best part of the day puking what looks like water out and shitting what again seems like the same fluid. Hey I'm singing from both ends! Its always harder to convince your gag reflex to stop when there's nothing left to puke. So while I hover over the ever accepting pot stopping only to change ends, an epiiphany crawls up warily.

As I walk out to get some air, I'm feeling more aware in an unaware kind of way. I feel like a being not of flesh and blood. I can still remember the last time I felt this way. That was however in a different life. In this re-incarnation however this has been a first. Delirious? A product of my hallucinations would be far more dramatically profound considering my flair for fantasia. This was a simple punch to the gut that knoocked the bloody shit out of my sails. Life always does to me what my biggest and fiercest opponents haven't done till date. Knock me out!

Paranoia?

You ever get that feeling like your not alone? You hear voices but there is noone there. When you lie down to sleep you feel like something is touching you but nothing is there. Most of the time it is because something is watching you, something is touching you and something is screwing with your head. You may not see them but they are always there, they hide in shadows and wait for their chance. They are small but there are many of them, groups of them feeding on fear. They do not have a name because noone has ever discovered them and survived to name them. In fact, there are probably a few of them watching you right now, watching for their chance to move in...

Rambling Irreverently

From the dark, a deeper dark,
eyes ashine with fire n spark
The alley cat stealthily slides,
past the ladies with fat backsides.
Furtive and aware,
the wind ruffling his hair.
Suspicious, hesitant, paranoid
he steps out from the void..
Stepping morosely from the night
repelled, by neon and starlight.
Gingerly with weight that never was
his pawprints mark the empty canvas.

Status Quo

What's cooking? How's it hanging? Sup? How's life treating you? Where have you been? Hows you? What are you upto? How are you feeling?

Every where I go I'm greeted by these inane questionnaires as to the nature of the beast known as r!tz. This past month I've spent working as a photographer, apprentice, artist, peon, secretary and marketing manager whilst keeping my head afloat and abreast of the waves. Work is mundane I've realised if it is considered in its mundane form i.e. work. However exciting and challenging and entertaining it maybe, if considered as work.. it fails to liberate one from his mundane existence.

My constant soul searching has also brought me to the realization that I simply wish to be comfortable; rich, contented and freedom to be. I am looking now for the most simple, effective and direct way to be where I want to be. I don't believe that hard work is the only way; though that seem to be my way currently. I'm however sure that my future has great things in store for me and that fame, fortune and fabulous women are just a hair's breadth away.

Being as I am a magnanimous and benevolent soul I am hereby offering you all.. YES! all of you a chance to benefit from this miracle about to happen. If you want to share in the fame and fortune and the spectacular orgies that are bound to take place hurry! Contact the author immediately! Payment accepted in the form of cash and kind.

All investments are subject to market risks and the schemes may go up or down depending upon the factors and forces affecting the securities market including the fluctuations in the interest rates. There can be no assurance that his schemes' investment objectives will be achieved. The past performance is not necessarily indicative of future performance of the schemes. The above do not in any manner indicate the quality of the schemes, their future prospects or returns. r!tz is not guaranteeing or assuring any dividend under any of the schemes. He is also not assuring that he will make any dividend distributions under the dividend plans of the schemes though he has every intention of doing so. All dividend distributions are subject to the investment performance of his schemes and are subject to availability of distribution surplus. The investments made by his schemes are subject to external risks. Please go through the offer documents before investing.

Scarycature

Captured by Priyankar Gupta

untitled

Santa aur Banta: the Original

Beware of Foot!

Sanjukta; the kickass Kathak dancer showing off the tools of her trade.

Up Up and Away

Spraywire

A Serene 'Sarai' for World Weary Animators..

The journey that began with a weary walk under Bombay's unforgiving sun with a 15 kilo knapsack in one hand and a pair of 8 kilo dumbbells in the other. After delivering the iron burden to a friend, I find at the train station negotitating a confirmed ticket with a tout. Confident that I had struck the deal, I lunged into my seat and dozed away only to be awaken by the TC's voice saying something about 'RAC' and that I had to share my seat with a 6 foot tall, 4 foot wide old man. We eventually went to bed together in the classic 69 position. I will abstain from more graphic description out of mercy for the dear voyeuristic reader. Suffice to say I didnt sleep at all. Destination arrives with a cold bath at the public bath courtesy Lalloo Prasad Yadav's inititaives. Refreshed I took a bus to Paldi. Upon reaching the hallowed campus I was denied entry due to the fact that it was just 7am. Perfect time for a short nap at the well designed bus stop and breakfast of milk n cookies. 10am brought with it permission to enter the hallowed premises.

Day 1
of Chitrakatha began with the routine 'Cmon baby light my fire' lamp ceremony followed by an exhibition of artwork by NID students. 'WOW' in black, all caps, bold, size 20, font Impact as a friend would say. Then came Chai & Cookies (Vitamin C fix). By which time I had met a pretty woman from delhi who was present on behest of her company. Huh? That was a pleasant surprise for my default mind cynical of all industry. Time to enter the sanctum sanctorum; the auditorium. It seemed to me like the inside of a pyramid and threatened to engulf me in the deepest slumber. In walked a young man with long white hair and attired in a flowing kurta of yore. He spoke on the endearing philosophy of Charles and Ray Eames.

This was followed by Binita Desai's gut-wrenching talk on sticking together and staying alive. And appropriately enough 20years of NID animation enfolded. After the hour long trip down memory lane came the screening of competition films. The parallel programs on various international schools held no fascination since me as a renegade ronin bent on living like a wandering wave. At the end of the day's screening I decided to head out for dinner with a friend who offered me shelter for the night. The hitch? He didnt know the name of the hotel..! After whizzing around town in a rickshaw, the dynamic duo descended at the infamous inn to yak about the exciting future, endless possibilities and the tenacious times we live in.

Day 2
Oh no! I overslept! After wrapping up my morning workout in record time I wolfed down a spicy omlette with toast and rushed to NID. Damn! Missed the sand animation project parable and chose instead to visit the various workshops on campus. Stepped out on a ledge (literally) to meet Allen Shaw; roaming renegade designer with a passion to preach his design philosphy to deserving design schools. Surreal scene it was: sitting on a ledge 25 feet above the ground overlooking the serene sarai offering indiscriminate solace to all weary wanderers.

While disturbing the general decorum and frightening quiet of pre-jury silence I chanced upon Vaibhav Kumaresh; the animator without pause.. Watching the man in action is inspiring to say the least. However a matter more pressing reared its head: lunch! The hunger instinct kicked in beckoning one and all to the 'sarai' again. A shot stop on the way lead to a chat with Ettamina CEO about the origin of its nomenclature. Lunch was a learning experience enlightening me to the rules of frisbee, a game of which was to be played later on between the alumni and students. Well to cut to the chase: experience and cunning won over youth and passion. Got some footage of some classy cats supinely sauntering around.

Oh! there's a surprise workshop!!! Krishnaswamy's silambam skills are on display whilst we endure the suspense. It turns out to be an exciting workshop encompassing acting, drawing, voice modulation and role-playing skills. I got lucky. I was to serenade a hottie called 'Lassi'. A truly awe-inspiring performance since blowing my own horn is what I do best.

Next on the menu: 'The hothouse' with a panel of experts waxing about wot else but animation. Quite disappointing as there was no bloodshed or catfights just plain ol' garden variety civil arguments. IMHO nothing was really addressed or resolved but the unanimous moral was this:
- Storytelling: Focus on your experience
- Just be passionate
- Stay mAd! stay foolish
- More festivals
- The 'character' is king!

After that a tet-a-tete with competition entree Pallavi Malaviya revealed a humble animator who worked on a zero budget and finished in 90 days. Humble pie. This wasnt supposed to be on the menu.. not that I'm complaining.

Alfred of Animac proceeded to wax eloquent on spanish animation which wass the prequel to a presentation of short spanish films. The most important point according to him was the 'will to make films'. Cannot be emphasized more. While the movies are being screened my hypothalamus is franctically considering the various permutations/ combinations for appeasing my insatiable apettite. I needn't have worried. A pretty maiden escorted me to the tantalizing Tibetan joint where I wolfed down every dish they had. Somewhat sated, we rushed back to catch 'The District' a full-length animated feature. Boy! was I glad. The film offered my visual fix of sex, drugs and inane humour for the day. At the stroke of midnight, the 'district' party came to an end. I spent some time sauntering around campus under a full moon and a myriad blanket of stars. When it was time to go I found my bed at the bustop inviting though not very warm. That was soon resolved by a cat that followed me out of the campus and chose to spend the night cuddled up with me.

Day 3
Morning came with hot chai and sizzling bajiyas at the chaiwalla. Bed & Breakfast. Wow! All that was missing was a bath which was taken care of by a friendly rickshaw driver who took me to the nearest public bath. Man! I sure miss the ancient public baths of the days of yore. Nostalgia gave way to flights of evolution with Jose Belemonte, a basque illustrator. His cross-engineered animals and insects much like the results of a madd gene scientist. What was more amazing was the fact that they were hand-made with paper and glue! As was evident in his work he attributed his inspiration to nature. My mind was playing the soundtrack of 'Born to be wild' while he showed us his animation based on his illustrations. Afterwhich Isabel Herguera led us on the path of experimental animation with selected works of Cal Arts students' graduation films. Then continued the final series of competition screening. Sigh! After yet another satisfying lunch, its time for the fellowship of the 'bling' to make its presentation. Yes, the Visual Effects Society was well represented by Tim McGovern, Eric Roth, Peter Chiang and N Madhusudanan.

Pitch your prayers with Toon preacher! Thus spake Silas Hickey and Shamik Majumdar as they gave us the commandments to pitch to the Almighty Cartoon Network and other lesser gods. To spice things up came Nina Sabnani with films celebrating Indian art forms. To complete this delectable delight of design served over 3 days came an aftermint of 3 indian animated shorts by new animators of India; Gitanjali Rao, Narayan Shi & Vaibhav Kumaresh and Uttam, Mehul & Parag.

A well deserved reprieve for world weary animators to revive and refresh themselves on the journey toward truth.

"Beyond our blundering ways, there are inherent forces that overcome error and incompleteness and drive us toward purity of goodness and truth." - Rudolf Arnheim

Steel Toes

Synopsis
Academy-Award® nominated David Strathairn portrays Danny Dunkleman, a Jewish liberal humanist, and the court-appointed lawyer representing Mike Downey (Andrew Walker), a Neo-Nazi Skinhead on trial for the racially motivated murder of an East Indian immigrant. Steel Toes takes us into the intense and fiery relationship that develops between these two men as they explore their emotional and intellectual differences. Steel Toes is a provocative exploration of the inescapable and insidious presence of racial and religious intolerance in our society.

Review
The film starts off with a typical skinhead beating which is the cornerstone of the entire movie that enfolds. The rest of the film explores the psyches of the two men as they square off against one another exposing and stripping bare their souls. Slowly the hate nurtured and nourished from the past gives way to tolerance which proves quite unsatisfactory leading the protagonist to a realization that love or compassion is the only need in the world we live in. The journey of this realization causes collateral damage in the life of the lawyer whilst the light he ignites in the skinhead grows brighter and shine through. A must watch!
"Explosive new drama & a provocative exploration of the inescapable and insidious presence of hatred in our society." - The Toronto Star

"Strathairn, with his expressive eyes and tremulous voice, is good at suggesting confidence tinged with doubt, and he's well matched by Walker, who brings menace and danger to his role as the defendant." - Toronto's Now Magazine Glenn Sumi

Also See: The Believer

LOL - everyone's looking for a connection

Synopsis

Alex, Tim, and Chris view the women in their lives through the dimensions of a computer screen or the lens of a camera-phone, as they struggle to balance their online fantasies and addictions with the demands of real life. This up-to-the-second feature intimately explores masculinity in the new millennium, a time when young men are trying to decipher the mixed messages of modern relationships and technology. Featuring a nonprofessional cast, video contributions from people all over the world, and original music by lead actor Kevin Bewersdorf, this funny and thoughtful film offers an honest portrait of how the latest tools of communication can either help us click or turn us off.

"The inability to connect in a hyper-wired world is old news given fresh voice in this tragicomic indie about the way we live."
-Nathan Lee, The New York Times

"LOL is a somewhat stunning mirror on the ways we say things without using words. [Swanberg] reveals himself to be one of the most emotionally astute young filmmakers working today."
- Cinematical.com

"LOL is a witty mini-satire of post-collegiates trying to connect romantically and erotically (at least, the women are) in a tangle of up-to-the-minute technology.
-Gerald Peary, The Boston Phoenix

"Go see this movie! It's funny and original...Joe Swanberg gets the most real, honest performances we've seen since the Duplass Brothers"
- The Duplass Brothers (The Puffy Chair)

Graffiti..

Graffiti is not a form of art, it is not made for MTV, the back of your backpack, t shirts or impressing chicks. It's a lifestyle of expression beyond borders and systems. It's a place people exist and live. Please do not shit in the house. Respect the rules and those who have come before you.

Coming Soon..

Military Freudian Complex

Military jargon and names given to weapons have historically been recognized as morbid euphemisms displaying a feigned detachment in describing something so final and personal for those on the receiving end. The current level of nuclear jock talk also reveals a pathological fixation with male genitalia and psychotic male sexuality, Freudian and beyond. Here’s just a small collection of current terminology to laugh and cry about. This is the technology we are supposed to admire and pay for:

The deployment, penetration and discharge of U.S. strategic Warheads do not go down smoothly without oil. Everyone, especially the good ol’ boys of the U.S. military, knows that it’s all about the oil. The Air Force must use force with its “Bunker Busters,” but sometimes its discharge is less than “Friendly Fire.” There are many cases of misguided missiles at the Air Force Academy in Colorado Springs. Ask any Air Force Ca-dette.

Embedded journalists know nothing of the “Advanced Unitary Penetrators.” The military keeps it under the covers, because it doesn’t want to disclose much about its “Depleted Uranium” wasting the lives of the ranks and fodder. Actually, the military doesn’t use its old “Ps” (older “heavy metal” penetrators), now that it has new viagra enhanced “AUPs” (Advanced Unitary Penetrators) and condom contoured “S/CH” (Shaped Charge warhead technology they call “missiles covered with skins”).

They have found that women and children respond best to the “BRs “or “BROACH” (Multiple Warhead System). Women are ravished, “she is disassembled”, and children instantly turn into cute little “crispy critters.” Depleted Uranium, their contribution to recycling, secures the rights of the unborn to come into the world (for a short time only), with spectacular birth defects.. “Cluster Bombs” evolved out of a concern for family values.

At times the military likes to get down and dirty. “Dirty DU,” comes from “a penetrating body formed of Depleted Uranium” which is sometimes contaminated with Plutonium. Will it be radioactive semen, cancer or only “Gulf War Syndrome?” But of course those good oil’ boys cut a disarmingly dashing profile with their “Smart Bombs” and “Cruise Missiles” and the “120 mm U.S.& Charm UK.” They can literally melt your heart away with their ”Armor-Piercing Ammunition” (confirmed to have Depleted Uranium).

Dressed in uniform, they can even become poetic with “Daisy Cutters,” putting fresh flowers on the graves. The graves are dug by “ The Big Red One,” a mechanized military division using oversized bulldozers created for the military by Caterpillar, Inc., U.S.A. The “Big Red One” was able to bury thousands of Iraqis (some not yet dead) in Pappy’s Gulf War (according to U.S. Army Officials) And of course their “Stealth Bombers” add a romantic air of mystery. “Big BLU” (a “direct strike hard target weapon”) sends everyone into rapturous song, “Off we go, into the wild blue yonder!” Native Americans are finally “honored” (from a distance) for their once –upon-a-time warrior prowess, with “Apache Helicopters,” the “Tactical Tomahawk” and the “SCALP-ER” (a BROACH).

And of course we can’t forget Texas, with the “Maverick.” Question: Does the “Patriot Missile” have anything to do with the “ Patriot Act,” or is it just a “Maverick?” In any case, “Just don’t mess with Texas.” But when they really get down to it, The Military Freudian Complex strives to out-do their fathers, (remember the “Little Boy” and “Fat Boy” used on Hiroshima and Nagasaki?) Now they have the “Hard Target Guided Warheads” and the “SLAM-ER” (Shaped Charge), and the “20mm Phalanx sea-to-air.” Sometimes men, in the act of creating Weapons of Mass Destruction, wax to new climaxes of religious fervor: “HellfireII/Brimstone,” is a “Guided Missile.”

So now we arrive at the ultimate theological question: Could it be that “Warhead” is close to “Godhead?”

Whether you are for or against this Invasion on Iraq, you should at least know your American vocabulary for U.S. “WMDs” (Weapons of Mass Destruction) while you contemplate your own likelihood of being collaterally damaged. (…unless of course you happen to live in an underground bunker near the White House).

US WMDs certain to have and/or suspected to have Depleted Uranium:
Big BLU –116 Bunker Buster guided bombs
BLU-108/B
GBU-32 1,000 Guided bomb
GBU-15
GBU-24 (with a shroud to the penetrating body)
GBU-27
GBU-31
AGM-130C
BGM-109
Tactical Tomahawk Penetrator Version warhead
EFP , Explosively Formed Penetrator
CBU-97 Cluster Bomb

Websites on weapons and depleted uranium:

www.eoslifework.co.uk

www.democracynow.org

http://www.futurenet.org/25environmentandhealth/rokke.htm

http://www.ucpress.edu/books/pages/6142.html